


Little Tony and His Wonderful Mommy

by Blackwidowislyfe



Series: Little-venger verse [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Age Play, Angst, Awesome Phil Coulson, Bed-Wetting, Canonical Character Death, Clint Barton Angst, Clint Feels, Clint Needs a Hug, F/F, F/M, Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Hurts So Good, I Don't Even Know, I am no good at tags, I am so sorry, Little!Tony, Lots of Natasha angst, M/M, Multi, No one kill me for this one plz, Non-Sexual Age Play, Past Child Abuse, Phil Coulson Is a Good Bro, Poor Clint, Poor Natasha, Sharing a Bed, Team as Family, The Author Regrets Everything, Thumb-sucking, Well comfort is coming, Wetting, bottles, feeeeeeeels, just not this time, little!Clint, little!Natasha, mommy!Pepper, only a little angst though, or bad depending on how you look at it, pull-ups, trade
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-24
Updated: 2016-03-01
Packaged: 2018-05-23 01:45:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6100758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blackwidowislyfe/pseuds/Blackwidowislyfe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Tony is a precious little baby and Pepper is his mommy and Tasha is his big sister! :D Follows Iron Man 1 through the Avengers.</p>
<p>Also: Natasha and Clint are babies too!</p>
<p>Also Also: I suck at summaries. :P</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. How Tony started

**Author's Note:**

  * For [radiowavemisfit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/radiowavemisfit/gifts).



> Hi! :) This is a trade I did with radiowavemisfit. She wanted little Tony! I was only too happy to oblige, because apparently I'm good at this sort of thing. :P Anyways APPLICABLE WARNINGS: Age play, wetting, general Tony angst because really, when is Tony not angsty? That said it is really mild angst and is mostly canon-compliant angst. This story follows the events from Iron Man 1 through the end of the Avengers. Anyways, enough babbling! Enjoy! <3

1.

Pepper had just always been a part of it. She had been doing it for so long, he couldn't remember whether she was his assistant or his mommy first. Or maybe she was both. Either way, he wouldn't have traded her for anything.

 

And then Afghanistan happened.

 

He had nearly lost it, and then he remembered Mommy. Mommy, who was worried sick. Mommy, who may not know he was alive. Every ounce of strength he had went in to seeing her again. When he finally did, he realized _nothing_ would ever be the same. It couldn't, no matter how much he wanted it to be. And then he had fallen asleep on the flight and realized that their age play would never be the same either. He had dropped hard once they were alone, and then came the tears. The begging, the fear, the emotion, _everything_ he had been keeping inside. He'd cried himself almost sick, and Pepper had bottle fed him some water. He didn't ever want a bottle before but it felt good, and put him to sleep.

 

* * * *

 

When he woke up, he was aware of two things. One, he was way littler than he normally was. Two, he was wet. No, wet was an understatement. He was SOAKED. The only time he had ever wet himself was after a few (dozen) shots of tequila.

 

"Oh sweetie," Pepper said, coming into his personal bedroom.

 

"I-I-I didn' mean to," He whimpered.

 

"I know angel," Mommy cooed. "It happens."

 

"N-not to m-me," He sniffled.

 

"Sweetie," She cooed, hugging him close. "You've been through a lot. It's okay. I think you're feeling a lot smaller than usual, huh?" Tony nodded miserably. He usually stayed around four. He could go potty by himself, but still needed help with lots of things. But now...

 

"I feel really really little. Like a baby," He said sadly.

 

"And that's just fine with me," She said gently. "I always wished you were a bit younger. I just wish it didn't happen like this." And from then on, Tony was Pepper's precious baby boy

 

 

2.

After everything had finished and Agent Coulson stepped in to finish taking care of everything, he and mommy went back to the mansion with a few agents, just to investigate. Pepper was shaking and honestly Tony wasn't sure how he was still snarking at everyone. He wanted mommy and a bottle and to go to bed and never have to ever leave it ever.

 

It was funny how Mommy always knew exactly what he needed. She took him up to their special room, the one with the big comfy bed with all the pillows and all his little things. She fixed him a bottle and held him close. "I'm so proud of you baby, I know how scary that was," She whispered. "Mommy was scared too. But I promise he won't ever hurt us ever again. You're mommy's sweet little boy and I'm so glad you're okay."

 

Tony was so grateful for mommy. Little did he know what was coming...

 

 

3.

After what happened with Obidiah, things went back to sort of normal. SHIELD was usually around once a month, but it wasn't bad. And then he wet himself in the lab. Big. JARVIS pulled some scans and that was how he figured out about the palladium. He didn't dare think about it, he had the expo launch that night. Still.... He put on a pull-up under his tux. It didn't show, and better safe than sorry, right?

 

He signed the company over to Pepper fast. That was when he met Natalie. He could tell right away she was a little too, but there was something else there. He couldn't figure it out though...

 

* * * *

 

Monaco. Fuck. Mommy was really REALLY mad. When they got back to the hotel she sat him in a corner and told him not to get up until she said or he would be really sorry. She left him alone. He shifted. His pull-up was wet and icky. He needed to change before he got a rash,and probably try and go potty while he was at it, but mommy was already so mad. He made such a mess. But he had to! Why didn't she see that? He was just trying to protect her. Or maybe he needed to tell her. He laid his head against the wall and sniffled. He really was scared. He just wanted to be okay. But he wasn't going to be okay. He was going to _die_. That was a scary thing to think about. He was dying. He was dying, and mommy wasn't here to make it better! He started to full on cry, and that's when he lost control of his bladder again. Only this time the pull-up didn't hold, and he was quickly sitting in a puddle and it was all just too much and of course that was the moment Natalie decided to walk in.

 

"Hey," She said gently, getting down on her knees next to him. He looked up, terrified and so vulnerable. "It's okay. I'm.... I'm like you,"

 

"You... You..."

 

"Shhh, I'll get your mommy. She can make it all better, right?" Natalie cooed. Tony nodded, wiping his eyes in vain. Natalie ruffled his hair and quickly stood, leaving and returning with Pepper. She sighed at the sight of her poor little boy. What wasn't he telling her?

 

 

4.

After everything with Vanko, Natasha made a frequent appearance in the mansion or the tower. She apparently felt safe playing with Tony and Pepper. It at least made everything a little less frightening when Uncle Phil showed up (yes, Phil was aware and all too eager to get involved, as his little was constantly away). He knew if Uncle Phil and his recently dubbed, "sissy," would be there, then everything would be alright.

 

And it was, until it wasn't.

 

He tried really really hard to keep it together when they got the news about Uncle Phil. He managed to at least keep it together until he made it to an empty room. Where he proceeded to burst into tears. Sissy had her friend back, Uncle Phil was gone, and honestly? He was scared. Really scared. He wanted Mommy and his blankie and for everything to go back to how it was. But it wouldn't. Not unless he went out there and made it better. So, he picked himself up, and went to do what he had to.

 

In the end he got Brucie back. Which helped a lot. And then he almost died and he didn't even get to say goodbye to Pepper and it was all so scary he blacked out.

 

The next thing he knew Hulk was screaming and woke him up. They took care of Loki and went out to eat, but no one was really the same after that. Sissy and her friend were shaken up, Bruce was a hot mess and Cap was trying to just keep everyone together. They all went back to the tower and he snuck off to his bedroom. It was too quiet without Mommy there and he let himself feel for once. It was all so scary and he couldn't stop the tears. He shook and struggled to get out of the shower. Everything was too much and he was so little and vulnerable and all he wanted was Mommy. He was barely dressed in underwear and a shirt before Tasha and Clint were in his room. They both looked as messed up as he felt and he realized Clint was.... shaking. He must be Phil's little.

 

"How old is he?" Tony managed to get out.

 

"Not much bigger than you," She said.

 

Tony nodded. "Come on, I know where we can stay," He said, taking their hands. He lead them down the hall, and down a flight of stairs to the lab levels, but stopped in front of a set of double doors, the room inside black. He quickly typed in the access code, and the room lit up. It was the nursery he and Mommy had managed to pull together. They had one in Malibu too, but he figured this was the best place for all of them tonight. He quickly pulled out some soft jammies for all of them. He knew Tasha could stay dry most of the time, but he wasn't sure about Clint.

 

"Does he need..." He stopped short, not wanting to embarrass his new friend.

 

"M'a big boy," He mumbled.

 

"Stop being dumb Clint," Tasha said, taking the pull-up Tony held out to the two of them. "You know when you're like this it's hard for you to go potty."

 

Clint humphed but took it anyways. Tony offered Natasha one of the nightgowns Mommy had gotten her, and her eyes lit up. She ducked into the little bathroom to change, and Tony and Clint looked at each other. "I'm bigger than you," He said, trying to be brave.

 

"Stop," Tony said firmly. "We're all really scared and tired. Get dressed so we can make a pillow fort."

 

"Can it be a pillow nest?" Clint asked hopefully. Tony nodded. Mommy always said he should let others choose. Clint smiled at him. It was weak and didn't reach his eyes, but it was there. He quickly stripped and changed, making Tony giggle. He did the same and by the time Tasha emerged, they had a fully functional defense nest, with all of the pillows and blankets and stuffed animals in the room present. It was sure to keep out the bad dreams. Tasha giggled and climbed in, grateful for how tiny they all were. She took the middle, both of the boys on either side. Tony had JARVIS play a lullaby track and before long, the three of them were fast asleep, all curled together.

 

* * * *

 

The next morning was far from perfect. They all ended up tangled together, but somehow all of them were wet. That didn't make any sense thought. Tony lifted his head first, to investigate. He was met with the adorable sight of Clint sucking his thumb. He really wasn't much bigger than Tony. But only the side of his leg was wet, which meant.... _oh_.

 

He'd never seen his sissy like this. Her hair was a mess and she was soaked. He bit his lip. Mommy usually handled these things. Heck, even Uncle Phil would be welcome right now. Clint woke up, blushed at the thumb in his mouth, and looked at Tony.

 

"What should we do?" He whispered.

 

Tony shrugged. "I dunno. My mommy usually takes care of this," He whispered back.

 

"Well we can't leave her here," He said. Tony stuck his thumb in his mouth. He really didn't know what to do. He was too little to deal with this. He might be able to get Bruce... no. They were alone.

 

As if things couldn't get any more complicated, Tasha woke up. She rubbed her eyes, before she tensed. Tony had never seen her look scared. Never. Not until they were on the helicarrier. But she looked absolutely terrified right now. They were all three little babies and they needed a grown-up.

 

Clint was the one to decide that though. "We need help," He said softly.

 

"No! No one can know!" She hiccuped.

 

"Tasha look at us. We can't do this alone," He said softly.

 

"Yes, we can," She hiccuped.

 

"No, you really can't," Someone from the door said. All three looked up to see Bruce and Steve standing there, arms crossed.

 

 _Uh-oh,_ Tony thought. Neither one looked mad though. "H-how'd you get in?" He asked. "The only people with the access codes are me and..."

 

"Mama!" Tasha cried, seeing the woman behind the two men. Pepper couldn't take it anymore and ran, hugging her babies close.

 

"Shhh, I'm here. I'm right here," She whispered. "Oh my goodness I'm so glad you two are okay! Are you hurt?"

 

Tony simply started crying, so glad to be able to hold his mommy again. Everything would be okay now. He was sure of it.

 

 

5.

After New York, and the day after New York, things were.... okay. Tasha, it turned out, felt really safe with Steve as well as Mommy. The two were going to go to DC together to help Steve adjust. With Uncle Phil gone, Clint found himself gravitating more to Bruce and Pepper. Tony didn't mind sharing. Bruce finally had a reason to stay some place. He made really good cookies and told the best Stories. They were a weird little family. But when did Tony Stark do anything normally? He wouldn't have his life any other way. He loved his family, just the way they were.


	2. How Tasha started

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha didn't have the best start. But Clint makes everything better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MEGA HEAVY TASHA ANGST. Really, this thing hurts in all the right places. Also read the part with Budapest how you want. I imagined he manipulated her to make her a better killer, but if you want to read it more sinister, feel free to. :D I am horrible. I regret nothing and everything. I am so sorry. :P Also the translations for the russian are in parentheses within the sentence. I will work on formatting. Enjoy!

1.

She refused to admit that someone had gotten the jump on her. That certainly did _not_  happen, thank you very much! However, the fact remained that there was a tall stranger in her room, probably here to kill her. Except he had a bow and arrows. And he looked surprisingly not scary.

 

"Relax," he said gently. She whimpered, scurrying backwards until she was against a wall. All her instincts were gone, and she was so little and _stupid_  and... And....

 

_"poteryal odeyalo,"_  she whispered. (Lost my blanket)

 

"You lost your blankie," he responded in Russian. She nodded slowly. "It's okay," he smiled. "Come on, let's find it."

 

_"Zachem?"_  she asked. (Why?)

 

Instead of answering, he pulled a pacifier out of his vest. "My daddy hates when I suck my thumb on missions," he explained. "So as a compromise, he sends me with this. That way I can comfort myself, and he doesn't have to worry about my dirty hands going in my mouth."

 

_"Ty malo?"_ She asked. (You're little?)

 

He nodded. "Yup. Now hurry. If we're gonna get you out of here before they come-"

 

They were cut off by an explosion. the wall caved in and suddenly the blanket was the last thing on her mind.

 

"Fucking bastards," She growled in thickly accented English. "Everyone wants me dead."

 

"Come with me and I'll let you live," The stranger said.

 

She looked at him unsurely, before she nodded. What choice did she have?

 

* * * *

 

"CLINTON FRANCIS BARTON WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!" Coulson roared. They had just stumbled into the safe-house, dirty, bloody, and with one more body than should be there.

 

"Sir, look there was a situation-"

 

"Oh I'm well aware of this situation Clint! You could have been KILLED!" The man yelled. "Not only that but you ignored direct orders to take out the target! Now you better have a really good explanation or she's going to die."

 

"Daddy she's little, just like me," He said, not finding it hard to age down. He usually did after missions and it helped him sit through debriefs. Coulson's eyes grew wide and, for the first time, really looked at the woman behind Clint. She was in fuzzy pajama bottoms and a pink shirt. The file they had said nothing about her EVER wearing pink. EVER. "She left everything behind and she doesn't have a blankie or a lovey or anything Daddy."

 

Coulson pinched the bridge of his nose. "How old is she?" He asked.

 

"Older than him," She said softly. "He promised me if I came with him that he would let me live."

 

".....You get to tell Hill," He finally sighed. Clint lit up like a Christmas tree and kissed his Daddy's cheek happily.

 

 

2.

SHIELD was far better than most of the places she had been. Actually it was at the top, aside from the three days she spent as a guest in a rich man's house as his mistress. She shuddered, trying to forget about that. No one trusted her by herself, so she was to room with Agent Hill on base. Clint was so excited to have another little on base but she was really REALLY shy.

 

She was curled up on her bed when there was a knock on the door. She quietly answered it and Clint was there. His cheeks were red and he looked... small and adorable in a way. "Um, I just uh... Wanted to give you this." He held out a small bear made out of quilt squares. "Daddy made it but he said not to tell anyone that."

 

Natasha smiled. "Thanks," She whispered. "Can I come over and play?"

 

Clint jumped up and down eagerly. "Yeah yeah yeah! We have cars and trains and action figures and all the cool toys!"

 

"Then what are we waiting here for?" She giggled, taking his hand. Clint ran down the hall to Coulson's apartment, quickly punching in his access code.

 

"Why are we at your Daddy's place?" She asked.

 

"He has all my stuff. I pretty much spend all my time here anyways," Clint said, fishing his pacifier out of it's pocket and popping it into his mouth. "Come on!"

 

* * * *

 

"Clint?" Phil said, rushing into the apartment. Hill was fast on his tail. Granted his little boy had a penchant for being dramatic, Phil wasn't about to take chances. He was all too grateful to see the two of them in the living room together, despite the mess of toys and a certain little boy in wet pants.

 

_"on zabyl izmenit',"_ Natasha said gently, rubbing Clint's back. (He forgot to change.)

 

Phil let out a sigh, placing his gun back in the holster and helped Clint to his feet. "It's okay angel, I'm here," He murmured, taking the boy's hand.

 

Natasha waved happily to him, continuing to play with the trucks they had dug out. Maria smiled. She was.... cute. She just hope this didn't blow up in their face like everything usually did.

 

 

3.

Her first mission. She had worked hard to gain this level of trust. It was a simple in and out. Stop the bad guys, watch Clint's back. Plus, how could anything bad happen in a place like Budapest?

 

* * * *

 

She was wrong. By a lot.

 

Turns out the douchebags who were after her when Clint found her that day had teamed up with what Clint was calling "those half-assed clown-bastard carnies." They had managed to make a barricade in a warehouse, but they had limited ammo and no comms. Tasha was pretty sure Clint had broken his foot and she had sprained her wrist in the rush to grab Clint's arrow holster. When (if?) they got back, she was demanding they got it secured to his uniform.

 

"Tash!" Clint snapped. She looked up at him in a daze. "Focus. See if you can find any water. We're gonna need that before we can focus on anything else."

 

She nodded slowly, rising on shaky feet. She started to look, but there really wasn't much besides the rats and some stale breadcrusts. But then... _huh. A spicket. No way in hell it'll work,_ She thought. With a shrug, she turned it on. And out flowed clean water. With pride she turned it off and returned to Clint. But this time....

 

"Hello Tasha," _He_  said.

 

She swallowed hard. "The fuck do you want," She spat in Russian.

 

"Oh come now, is that any way to treat your friends?" He purred. She glared. He was holding his gun to Clint's head, and from what she could tell he had already beat him somewhat with it. "You know it wasn't very nice of you to play hide and seek with us."

 

"Who said I wanted to be found?" She said, leaning against a stack of crates.

 

"Ah, Natalia," He sighed. "Now, this is how this will work. You will both come with me. If you are lucky, one of you dies."

 

"Tash," Clint tries to choke out, but he earns a stomp on his bad foot for his trouble. The scream he let out rocked the redhead to her core.

 

"Natalia, be a good girl," He says. In an instant she's.... on the ground. In tears, her ears covered. She learned. She _learned_  Damnit! She _was_  a good girl and it didn't have to be this way! It didn't! Why was he-

 

She was cut off by a lot of gunfire and _thwip!_  and general yelling and a lot of watching hand-to-hand. She crawled towards Clint, who crawled towards her.

 

"How old are you?" He asked her. She held up five shaky fingers. He held her tightly.

 

* * * *

 

"He.... He used that side against me a lot," She whispered. "I always figured their had to be more to it than what I was taught, but..." She teared up, and Phil squeezed her hand. "I-I fought it for so long once I ran away and then one day I just dropped and I was alone and I had to figure things out for myself and... and that's when I found out how peaceful it could be. How non-violent and manipulative it all could be."

 

Hill nodded. "Thank you for telling us Tasha," She said, finishing her notes. "You're clear."

 

She nodded and sulked out of the room. She went to see Clint, who was thankfully coloring in his hospital bed. She sat next to him.

 

"Here," He said, offering her a black crayon. She looked at what he was drawing, but was shocked by what she saw: His paper was covered in dead bodies, people with guns, and blood. Oh the blood.

 

"Why are you drawing such scary things?" She asked timidly.

 

"It helps me so I don't have to hold it inside," He shrugged. "Then Daddy and I talk about it and then he talks to Auntie Hill and then we all have hot chocolate!"

 

".....Can I draw too?" she asked. Clint smiled and nodded. The pictures they drew were gory and horrible, but for the first time in a long time, Natasha felt that she had a handle on her demons.

 

 

4.

Stark. Tony. Fucking. Stark.

 

"No. Fucking. Way," Natasha growled.

 

"Look, Phil can't spend every waking moment chasing him and we have it on good authority he's in some sort of trouble," Hill insisted. "It won't be long and after we figure things out, you're free to go, okay?"

 

She was not happy. Not at all. And then she actually walked in to the stupid mansion and... assessed him. A little, obviously. Made sense, though he was even younger than Clint. The woman he was signing the company over to was his mommy, no doubt. A pang of jealousy hit her. Why didn't she get a nice mommy?!

 

* * * *

 

Pepper was not happy with how things were going. Not by a long shot. But somehow.... they completed each other in a weird way. That's how she found herself in Pepper's lap, drinking wine. Totally unprofessional! her mind screamed. And yet.... It all felt right. 

 

 

5.

Monaco. Fuck.

 

Pepper placed her baby in time out while he was still big. Natasha kept her mouth shut, despite noticing he needed a change and most likely needed to pee again. Why was he wearing diapers full time? Probably because of whatever the hell was wrong with his neck. She left with Pepper to go deal with things but the woman stopped once she was out of earshot of the room and started crying.

 

"Shh, calm down," Natasha cooed.

 

"What isn't he telling me Nat?" She cried.

 

 

6.

The expo was clearly a disaster. And per usual, SHE had to go beat sense into people. At the end of it though, Tony himself had invited her back to the mansion post-mission. Said he knew what she was and that they needed to stick together. That's how she ended up in bed with Tony and Pepper. That's how she started coming over for playdates. That's how she got the start to her family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may notice I put 2/3 chapters. Clint will have an origin story, and then there will be several more works to this little verse. I regret nothing/everything. :P Love you guys and see you next time! :)


	3. How Clint started

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint was (not) a dumb baby. But he was Phil's dumb baby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT HURTS SO GOOD I AM WARNING YOU NOW. Okay, so here ends the first installment of our little-vengers verse! :D APPLICABLE WARNINGS: Major MAAAAAAJOR Clint angst. And a bittersweet ending. Liker seriously I have no clue where it came from. Also mild Phil/Clint? Maybe. Idk. Enjoy this and I'm sorry in advance.

1.

"Hey kid," The agent says. Clint's trying so hard to get away, knows that any lapse in time and they'll find him, and probably kill him. Though this guy doesn't look much better than the circus freaks after him.

 

"Listen Mister, I think you got the wrong fella," He says, a clearly country twang mixing with the words.

 

"Nope, You're the man," He says gently. "You willing to talk?"

 

Clint shifts nervously. He doesn't want to die, doesn't want to lose ground, but something about this guy seems to emit safety, and shelter. Something he hasn't felt in a long time. "Yeah, okay," He relents, though the nervous dancing from foot to foot doesn't stop.

 

"You were quite a big help with that sting back there," The guy says. "Wouldn't have been able to stop those guys without your aim."

 

"Yeah, I guess," Clint mumbles. It's then that Phil realizes the dance for what it is.

 

"Listen, I've got a deal for you kid," He says. "You give up this hit and run business, and use that bow for something good. We can use a guy like you."

 

"Yeah yeah, that's what they all say," Clint hisses. "Then it's either beat the kid or turn him loose to fend for himself again. Ya know, you stupid people really oughta-" Clint stops, and suddenly there's a slow patter and a shining below the kids feet. Even in the dark, Phil sees the blush on his cheeks. He knows what's happened, and he genuinely feels bad for him.

 

He waits for Clint to finish, before he finally explains fully. "I'm with the government. We call ourselves SHIELD. We need a good marksman like you, and from the looks of things right now, we can offer you a safe cover, and protect you. You'd get a salary, three square meals a day, and your own living quarters. Access to a practice range, and more updated weapons too."

 

"The bow stays," Clint mumbles, his thumb hesitating by his mouth. "And you really want some stupid baby who just pissed themselves?"

 

"Yes, because said baby brought down an entire mafia, and the ones who are threatening you aren't going to be able to do so for much longer." Clint hesitates, before nodding. He figures it's what Barney would want him to do.

 

* * * *

 

SHIELD is surprisingly nice. Like seriously, top five places he's ever been. Maybe even top three. Except for that one night he spent in the police station after his parents died. Barney was there and he wasn't scared. God he misses his brother.

 

_Focus Clint!_  He snapped at himself. _Don't fuck this up. They CAN'T know._

 

 

2.

Coulson found out first. Not a big shock when he thought back on it really.

 

"Clint, you do know you can ask for help, right?" Phil had said, standing outside his door. Clint jumped and everything landed on the floor. He whimpered, and tried really hard to appear big. But Agent Coulson was Agent Coulson for a reason.

 

"I-I'm sorry," He sniffled. "Jus' a dumb baby."

 

"No," Phil said gently, tipping the younger male's head up to look at him. He gently wiped the tears from his eyes. "You're not a dumb baby. You just had a small accident. Not the end of the world."

 

"But... But I'm a spy now," Clint sniffled miserably.

 

"Why do you think we all wear black?" Phil chuckled. And, damn it, Clint couldn't help but giggle too. Maybe he would be okay after all.

 

 

3.

While Agent Coulson was patient, he didn't see the point in ignoring the problem. Which meant having an arguement with a very stubborn agent. Still, he had been hand-picked to deal with Clint. He was sure he could figure /something/ out. And figure it out he did.

 

"Clint, this is very simple," Coulson said firmly. "Either you wear them, or I have to make a report to medical. And they are no where _near_  as patient as I am."

 

Clint growled but took the package of pull-ups. He shoved them under his bed, but was secretly overjoyed. He had diapers! Finally, _finally_  he could properly play. Now all he needed were some toys...

 

 

4.

SHIELD general stores had a lot of things. Condoms, pregnancy tests, handcuffs.... legos. Coloring books. Crayons. Even stuffed animals. Though admittedly he was in the "kink" section. Why there was one, he wasn't sure. But right now all he could think about was whether he wanted a rainbow pacifier or a pirate pacifier.

 

* * * *

 

In the end, he got both, simply because the government paid for everything here. He smiled as he hauled his stash back to his little apartment. He couldn't have been happier. But a certain unflappable agent was waiting for him on his bed when he walked in.

 

"Your first mission," He said, holding out a file to the man. Clint dropped everything, and suddenly he whimpered. "We have to leave in an hour Clint. I would suggest you shove this all under your bed and we can discuss it afterwards." Oh boy. He was gonna lose his job for sure now.

 

 

5.

That mission was child's play. Seriously, this was the worst they could come up with?

 

"How did...?" Phil asked. "He ALWAYS see's his assassins coming..."

 

Clint beamed. "Just that good. The benefit of archery, is no one ever sees it coming," He smirked. "Especially in this day and age."

 

"Don't get cocky, rookie," A woman- she looked important- said. "Beginners luck."

 

"The kid's excited Hill, cut him some slack," Phil smiled. "Clint, this is assistant director Hill."

 

"Nice to meet you," He smiled, reaching his hand out. Hill raised an eyebrow. His thumb was... wet? It looked like... ohhhh. She took his hand firmly, gave it one shake, and let it go.

 

"You're to debrief with me when we get back," She said firmly, before stalking off. "COULSON!"

 

"Sit, I'll be right back," He told Clint. The agent gave a lazy salute before flopping down on a seat, pretending to be obedient. As soon as his handler was out of sight though, he stuck his thumb in his mouth. He still wasn't overly fond of killing people.

 

* * * *

 

"He's a little," Hill said, passing Coulson a cup of coffee.

 

"...How do you know?" He asked, staring into the mug.

 

"Well for one he sucks his thumb," She said. "Figured that out in ten seconds. Also he was at the store yesterday and spent far too much time gathering up some things geared towards.... smaller people."

 

"You're spying on him now?" Phil chuckled. "I could report you for abuse of power."

 

"Fuck off Phil, you know I'm right," She said. "Question is, what are you gonna do about it? Since your last one decided to go rogue?"

 

That was a good question indeed....

 

 

6.

"But Daddyyyy!" Clint whined.

 

"No Clint, you have to take a bath," Coulson said firmly. The younger male pouted. He HATED baths! They were icky and wet, two things he hated being.

 

"I'll let you play with our bath crayons...." Phil tried. Clint gasped loudly and quickly ran to the tub. Phil smiled. How he had gotten so Lucky, he didn't know. Nor did he care. All he cared about was that Clint was happy. And that, the little boy certainly was.

 

 

7.

Loki came through a portal in the ground. It didn't make sense. None of it made sense. And then it all did.... He was flying.

 

* * * *

 

Loki was a little. He knew just from a few minutes with him. Or at least he was. He was trying to deny it right now, but Clint could see how shitty of a job he was doing. He let Clint wear pull-ups at least, and keep the paci in his pocket. Then they went to the heli-carrier.... Then the world went muddy and then black.

 

 

8.

Daddy was..... gone. He was really truly gone and... and that hurt more than anything else ever could. And it was all his... his....

 

Tasha held him while he cried. And he cried a lot. And then Tony came and hugged him too. And then Bruce. Bruce understood. He'd lost his mommy when he was little the first time. Bruce got a cool washcloth and a sippy full of water and wiped his face before giving Clint the cup. He told Tony and Tasha to get Pepper, and then scooped him up. Bruce wasn't his daddy. But, just for tonight... maybe he could pretend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE DON'T KILL ME FOR THAT ENDING. *Shields face and body from rocks* It's weird, because 99.999% of the time I live in a fairy tale land where no one we love dies but this time.... it just sort of happened. :P Expect more from this verse. I already have one more ready, but it depends on life (and the plot-line I follow) as to when it shall be posted. Also, thoughts on little Loki? Should that be a thing or not? Super mega thanks to radiowavemisfit for all the inspiration! :D I love you guys and I will see you next time!

**Author's Note:**

> I actually got an idea to keep this thing going, but idk if I will. Is that something you guys might want to see? If so let me know I guess! I love you guys and I will see you next time!


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